Monday, June 2, 2008

it was a good day, and a sad day. good-bye, old friends. you will be missed.

well, today was (yet another) visit to cardiology. asher needed to go in for a thorough check before going off enoxaparin ("enox" - a blood thinner - needles, twice daily) in a couple days. so, everything (echo, ECG) looked good. his BP is still up (top number was about 101, which is a bit higher than they like, but better than it had been), but they don't seem too concerned. maybe because he's on 2 BP meds as it is (HCT and enalapril), or because they know what's causing it (very narrow aortic arch) and that it'll get fixed in time. one nice thing (from my perspective) was that his weight is not as high as i thought. he's only up to about 12.5 kg (24 lbs-ish), which means they won't be scheduling his fontan for next week or anything (because toronto really works that fast anyway, and the sky is a beautiful shade of pink and i've never felt better in my life!).

liz wants us to come back in august for another check-up. i guess the days of 3 months between appointments are behind us. i'm sure we'll have that again at some point, but for now, with asher's cardiac health as fragile as it is (in case you weren't aware, that narrow aortic arch thing, yeah, it could cause him to go into congestive heart failure at a moment's notice. it's kind of a problem, you know, mui poco). but liz reminded me to call her if i need to, and that there will always be a doctor there. (don't get too excited... they're not staying... toronto docs are going to be filling in until the new docs start in the fall.)

did you like the spanish back there (or the attempt at it, anyway)? that's my little tribute to dr buffo (he's mexican). we saw him today, and i didn't really get to talk to him too much, except for a couple little exchanges that are horrifyingly comforting, horrifyingly sad, and horrifyingly horrifying at the same time. here's the tale.

bram wanted to come along today, because he's in love with liz. honestly, she's his favourite grown-up, other than me (no, seriously, that's what he says! how sweet is that, eh?). so, i was in the waiting room with the boys, asher was playing with a truck on the floor and bram was playing with a train on the thomas table (i think that might be another big reason he likes to come to car-ology, as he calls it). liz walked past, said hi to asher and me (by name, no less - liz is awesome), and then stopped and actually chatted with bram for a minute (also greeted him by name - i'm telling ya, she's awesome!). another mother in the waiting room was watching us and kind of gave me a weird look after liz left, and i just said to her, "we're here a lot."

then later, after the ecg and echo, we were again in the waiting room, waiting to see liz. dr buffo came out, and was taking coffee orders from everyone who works there. then he came up to me and asked if i wanted a coffee. (ok, i know what you're thinking right now. but heather, you gave up coffee! i hope you declined graciously. well, to you i say: if you think i'm going to turn down a free coffee from a doc, you've never met me!). i said, "oh, yes, please, decaf with 2 cream." (see? it was decaf... i was good...ish). that's right, i was included in the staff coffee run. another mother looked at me funny, and i said, "really, we're here a lot." and you know, there was a nice "friend-ness" (for lack of a better term) when doc handed me that coffee. it was touching. but that was it. there was no good-bye. just coffee. probably just as well, i would have just bawled, and he already thinks i'm a lunatic. lol

dr p wanted to talk to us, too, since it's the last time we'll see him. he told me everything on the tests looked good. well, maybe not good, per se, but unchanged, which is as good as it gets right now. then we said our goodbyes. oh, i almost cried, i had a tear, folks! i just love that man so much, you know, and he's leaving. i know the new docs are excellent and i'm sure, given asher, that we'll get to know them really well, too, but still... even he was moved. he reminded me that asher's a fighter and he's strong. and i told him that we have family and friends in manitoba, so we just might see him again at some point. he was adamant that asher and i should pop in for a visit when we're out there. who knows... maybe we will...

i want to make a couple gifts for the docs, and i'll have to take them in one day. i can't even tell you how much i'm going to miss them. they're great people, and we've been through so much together, not all good, but not all bad, either. we've laughed, we've cried (that's right, i've seen dr b on the verge of tears more than once), and everything in between. they've seen me at my worst (but thankfully, also at my best). and most importantly, if it weren't for those two men (and dr caldarone, and of course, God, but this is about the london docs right now), i wouldn't have a baby. they've pulled asher back from the brink so many times. i'm so grateful to and for them. i'm really going to miss them. as are so many other mothers i know...

well, that's that for today. and now i'm tired. i need to go to bed right now. it's been a long day, in so many ways. well, i'll talk to you later! :) h

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