Thursday, April 30, 2015

Random mommy-Asher pic :)

Just thought i'd share a wee pic, so you can see 8-year-old Asher. My littlest man's not so little anymore! ❤️

normalcy... and asher's normalcy...

ok, ok, i know i need to post more often. i know.
but the thing is...


I.
asher's been stable.
and normal.

he's eight years old now.
eight.
seriously.

he's back at school.
grade 3.
but he still asks to be homeschooled again.

he still loves his stuffies.
current faves are Bjorn, Bjorn, and Bjorn, the swedish mice.
(my dad bought him three mouse stuffies at ikea. hence swedish. haha)

he has a favourite sport:
golf.
it's a sport he can actually do.
and he'll get some lessons this summer, and he'll be awesome.
there's quite a bit of power in that swing of his.

he doesn't like chocolate (whose kid is this?!).
he loves coffee and wishes i'd let him drink it.
yesterday he complained that there were no baby carrots for his lunch.

the other week, he made a lunch for school that consisted solely of M&M's and a cookie.
i was not impressed.
but i was amused.

he runs and plays and laughs and jokes and winks and runs and snuggles and giggles and talks and runs and loses his temper and plays with lego and hugs his stuffies at bedtime and runs and smiles and wishes his skeleton bedspread glowed in the dark.

ah, normalcy.
it doesn't make for a thrilling blog post, i'll admit.
but it sure makes for a wonderful life.


II.
we've spent too much time in emerg lately.

five or six trips last month.
all for the same thing:

asher is having blue spells.

his sats don't change, his blood pressure doesn't change, his bloodwork doesn't change. his mood doesn't change.
his chest xray is perfect.
his mood is bright and bubbly.

his face is pale.
his nose and mouth are blue.
his forehead is grey.
his hair is damp with sweat, and he's short of breath.

cardio said, "this is normal for fontans. they turn blue all the time."
i said, "if he'd been doing this all along, i'd accept that. but he hasn't had a blue spell in years. literally, years. so i don't accept that."

they did an echo, and i haven't heard anything, so i'm guessing it didn't show anything unusual.
(which, if you recall some of his history, can mean very little.)

now we have a cardio memo (cardiac event recorder) that he carries around till early June.
he's to place it on his chest and record his heart when he's having symptoms.

i'm not sure if i hope it shows something...
or if i hope we're wasting our time.

i mean, things have certainly been worse in asherland. i'm the first to admit that.
but...


III.
it's january 2009.
asher just had a stent placed in his ASD a week ago.
we're at the cardiology clinic at HSC (SickKids).
i ask our cardiologist, "so... what can we expect...  you know... long term?"
she answers immediately, "oh, he'll need a new heart by the time he's ten."


IV.
asher is eight.
almost eight-and-a-half.

asher is having blue spells.

and i'm trying to keep my mind from wandering to dark, unhealthy places.

because yeah, he had two blue spells before 9:15 this morning.

but he felt nothing.
and he resumed playing right after the memo.


*************

and a quick update about the rest of our lives:

Blithe's in grade 7 now.
she's fairly obsessed with acting, and she loves make-up.
she's smart, and compassionate, and believe me when i say,
she's the strongest woman i know.
she's 12.
turning 13 in august. (WHAT?!?!?!)

Bram's in grade 5.
he loves acting, and reading, and Simon & Garfunkel.
he's loving, and kind, and serious, and very very smart.
he has the sweetest soul i've ever encountered.
he's 10.

I'm not in a grade.
i'm still working as a make-up artist,
and i'm still obsessed with theatre.
i'm starting out on a new part of my journey, and it's exciting.
sometimes i miss homeschooling,
other times, i enjoy the freedom to have lunch with a friend,
or... say... sit in a coffee shop and write a blog post. ;)

beyond that, there really isn't much to report. i still love coffee (nectar of the gods, black liquid of life, call it what you will. it's beautiful), the house is still a mess, and we all love sushi (possibly more than life itself).

so, now you're all caught up. some exciting normalcy, some worrisome symptoms, but all in all, we're doing well.

and i promise to post more often.

OOOOH! and i now have the blogger app for my phone! so yes, i'll be posting more often!! you just might get sick of me, actually. MWAHAHAHAHAHA!!