Friday, June 6, 2008

my gifts for the docs

i had to go in to london this morning to pick up my mom at the bus station. while i was in town, i had a couple errands i needed to run at the hospital. first, i had to return a seat asher's OT had loaned us back in march, so that was to Thames Valley Children's Centre, which is attached to the hospital. then, up to the nursery on the 7th floor, to give them some old sleepers that asher has outgrown. the sleepers they have there are so old, but so needed, and it's not like i'm going to be breeding again ever (God better not be reading this - lol), so i donated them there this morning. i had a lovely chat with some of the nurses there, too. asher's too old for the nursery anymore, so we never get to see them, so it was nice to catch up a bit. they were so good to us, and we all really got to know one another during all those admissions, so very many admissions....

anyway... the final errand was in cardiology. and apparently, yale and tanna were there this morning and we missed them. :( sorry i missed you, tanna, it would have been nice to see you again. ah, well, i have a theory that, given how "punky" these boys of ours like to be, we'll see each other soon enough. in the meantime, we should try to get together something. facebook me, and we can try to arrange something. :) now, back to my tale o' the day...

i had said goodbye to the docs on monday already, but it felt incomplete, because i hadn't had the chance to give them anything, and i had really wanted to give them each something, a little token of my thanks for all their work, care and yes, in a way, friendship, over the last 18 months. i talked to dr p first this morning; he came out and hugged me and we must have talked for, oh, about 10 or 15 minutes. mom lost count of the number of hugs. i'm really going to miss him; he's such a sweetheart. did you know, he still has the letter i wrote him back in december? (check asher's old blog if you'd like to read it for yourself.) he has kept it, and in fact, he says that it helped him grow as a person and a doctor. how touching is that?! he told me that he and buffo were talking about me just this morning. it seems there was a child in clinic whose condition is not severe ("not nearly like asher's"), but who still needs to be followed for a couple years (i'm assuming a hole that is closing nicely on its own, but they still need to watch it right now). anyway, dad must have been a busy guy, because he did not appreciate having to wait 20 minutes to see the docs, they should see him right now, and he was demanding to see them right away. and you know what they docs said to each other? they remembered all those times that asher was brought up from emerge for an echo, and there he was, with difficulty breathing, sats in the 60s, and colour was bluer than blue, and there we sat, waiting patiently, not complaining, but just waiting our turn. now, i'd like you all to pay attention to that, to how they remember me: for my patience. and yes, they were talking about me, so you can pick your jaw up off the floor now. lol so that was my chat with pepy.
then, dr buffo came back from the unit, and pepy must have told him that i had something for him. he came out and the first thing he said to me was, "i don't deserve this, you shouldn't have done this." i said, "are you kidding me?! how many times have you saved asher's life?! you deserve this!" now, let me explain a little bit about this man: very, very humble, and just under the surface, he's a teddy bear. and i mean, he truly does not believe that he deserves a gift, he really doesn't see himself that way. so, he was completely thrown that i would want to give him something, and honestly, you could tell he was trying hard not to cry. he's such a sweetie. and another thing you need to understand about him: he is really not into big emotional displays. i mean, when he bought me a coffee on monday, that was his way of saying good-bye. nothing big, no words, just coffee. but that's the way he is.
me, on the other hand, i needed to let both of them know how much i truly love and appreciate them. so, here's what i made for them. (for those non-paper-crafty types out there, these are "skinnys," a 3"x5" piece of art. the verse is one i have clung to for a long time with asher, and i have always wanted to share it with the docs, and have never had the chance.) so here we go:

this is the one i made for dr buffo (his first name starts with "I").

this is the one i made for dr p.
so, there you have it. my gifts for the docs. i know a bunch of parents from our facebook group wanted to go together and give them something, but i really felt i needed to do something on my own, given all the time i've spent with each of them. they're more than just doctors to me and asher, and we will miss them. but dr p insists that when we go out to manitoba, asher and i are to come to the hospital for a visit and they will both be very happy to see us.
and so, closure. the end of this chapter of asher's story is done, and a new one will start in september with the new docs. but i will always remember these two men. they have meant so much to me and asher over the last 18 months, and it's heartbreaking to see them go. but i wish them well, and hope to see them soon (but in winnipeg, not like, next week in emerge, or even worse, this weekend - buffo's on call this week! lol).

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