Saturday, April 24, 2010

so... is THIS what they call "normal"?

well! the last few days have been... interesting...which probably sounds negative, now that i'm reading it there. but i don't think it is... per se. it's just that, i mean, well, i don't get it.

we're all familiar with the ups and downs of life in our home. between asher's heart (etc), blithe's ADHD, bram's bram-ness (check his blog, if you're unacquainted. then you'll know what i mean), and my, um, "me-ness" it's pretty unique in these parts of the universe. and i'm ok with that. in fact, i love it. we're a quirky bunch, that's for sure, and (most of the time) i wouldn't have it any other way. but now...

i just don't get it.

and i don't quite know how to describe it, so i'll just fill you in, and you be the judge.

asher is healthy. and energetic. and happy. and pink. ok, granted, he's still a bit on the pale side, but his heart is only beating right now because there's a machine forcing it to; left to its own devices, it would be happy chugging away at a whopping 30 to 50 bpm. so i'll take the 80 now, thank-you very much. but with this "increased" heart rate comes... you guessed it... energy! i mean real, honest to goodness energy! today he ran around the house laughing and playing and - get this!! - keeping up with blithe and bram!! honestly, i couldn't believe it! he's happy, he's playful, he's eating, he isn't sweating or blue/grey or short of breath or fainting or dizzy or anything! in fact, the kid can outrun me now! (yes, i know, not much of an accomplishment given that i don't run. but still!!) he definitely has more stamina than i do! i'm still recovering from march and (most of) april, and he's running around as though there's nothing wrong with him! in fact, no less than twice today did i look at him and completely forget that there's anything wrong with him! this is incredible! someone, quick! pinch me! no, wait. don't. just in case this is all some wonderful dream. i don't want to wreck it. haha but wow! a 3-year-old with energy! who'da thunk! (i'm almost wishing dr c had taken me up on the whole "before we go ahead with this surgery that's going to give asher more energy, how about he moves in with you for a week. then we'll discuss whether or not the fontan is really in everyone's best interest." he (asher, that is. not dr c) is not "tazmanian devil" crazy yet... but i'm sure in a few weeks he will be.

save me. please. no, wait. don't. because apparently, this is exactly what we've been praying for all along. for a healthy, happy, playful asher. so i think i'm going to enjoy it.

and the other kids have returned to their own school now, having spent most of march and april at school in hamilton while they were staying with my family. (fyi, blithe won the Principal's Award for Outstanding Achievement in Class while in hamilton. and there was a bonus sticker on the certificate which said, "most improved." HOW PROUD AM I!!!!!) but they've settled nicely back into the routine of school at home. they rode the bus, they played with their old friends. bram was especially delighted to see nicholas, his best friend. all i hear about is "nicholas and me play transformers" day and night. i mean, really, if he didn't come home with completed work in his backpack, i'd swear he just plays transformers all day!

and then there's me. i've decided that, now that asher is stable (and believe you me, he and i have had a chat or two about not going back into hospital for a looooooooooong time. i have declared him stable, and stable he shall be!) i need to find me a job. so! i went a-looking this week. or rather... i posted on FB that i was going to look for a job. someone (not mentioning any names... tanna...) immediately suggested cardiologist. i'll admit, it made me smile. but i need to pay bills now. i'm pretty sure rogers and the hydro people aren't going to go for me waiting another 20 years to pay them. just a thought. but! because of a comment someone else made, i have a lead on something real, so i'll be sending in my resume there. and then the next day i was approached about another really exciting venture that i love, and it looks like that one is a go! we just need funding for it, so that will take time, i'm sure, so i'm still looking. but i also went in for some help because it's been so long since i've had a "real" job (not since my contract with the canada games ended in august 2001! yikes!). i just needed a couple pointers, tips on resume-writing, that sort of thing, and the woman directed me to a job bank that is used by canadian non-profits, which is exactly the sort of work i would LOVE to have, so that's exciting! so the job hunt is under way and looking promising and i'm hopeful that fairly soon i will be employed, bringing in some money, and so forth.

and of course, because there has to be something going on in my world, the battery on my truck had died from not being used for so long. so that was stressful, because we tried to boost it and it wouldn't start and i thought i'd have to get a new battery for which, of course, i don't have the money and how am i going to get to church in the morning if i can't start my car? ok, i wasn't freaking out nearly so much as that last sentence might imply. but it's a post on asher's blog, so you must be expecting some sort of potential catastrophe, right? haha but some dear friends came over and gave me a boost and now slimer (the truck's name, because it's the same green as slimer from Ghostbusters... only cooler, of course) runs beautifully, so once again, all is calm in our little corner of the cosmos...

and i'm still left scratching my head, wondering

what is going on here?!

i'm not complaining, mind you. i quite like it this way. but seriously! is this really what "normal" feels like?!

because i could take more of this!


ChristophersHeart said...

Beautiful post :) Love all the normal stuff happening and hearing about all the energy he has and how he's loving playing with his siblings! :) Lots of good things happening for you guys lately!

I do have a request - pictures of Asher looking PINK! I've seen him pink but most of your readers haven't and he's so wonderfully pink I think they would love to see!

Kerri said...

I think it is funny that you posted this today. I found your question about Blaylock and hopped on over to answer and found your "normal" post. I was just thinking about this today. How "normal" life as a heart family becomes a new normal. I was laughing while giving MC her Enalapril this morning and asprin. I thought, "Well this isnt' exactly a normal med schedule for a 3 year old, now is it." Funny. Seems more like a med schedule for an 80 year old. Anywho, I find it ironic that we find such joy in the normalcy of life. Pink skin, running with such energy, stable heart rates, etc.

I can't wait for a new normal around here. Hopefully, after our heart cath in June, we'll have our Fontan scheduled and will be a bit closer to the typical norm of a three-year-old.

Blaylock is a family name. On my husband's side, to be exact. His great aunt was named, Lillie Blaylock Pinkston. We used Lillie in our oldest daughter's name and Blaylock in Mary Clare's name. Who knows, if we have a third girl, we may end up with Pinkston in her name! :) Not that he was super close to her, we just loved her name. Hope that solves the mystery for you! Do you know any Blaylock's?

Hope's Blog said...

I love your normal post and am so excited that everything is back to normal for your family.

Michelle said...

Hi I just found your blog through another blog and wanted to let you know I'm glad your little guy is feeling better and more normal! My daughter has had 3 heart surgeries her last for a pacemaker. Although I hate our little ones need the pacemakers I'm happy to find another family who is sharing a similar experience. I also talked about a new sense of normal on my blog today.

Heart hugs!