Wednesday, November 11, 2009

quick update... and i'm gonna sum it all up in one word: ugh.

i haven't posted lately about how asher's doing, so i'm gonna get you all caught up.

a couple weeks ago, asher was admitted in london with the flu. H1N1. yup. delightful, no? but he's better now. a couple days of antibiotics and tamiflu and he's feeling "much better," as he would say.


and of course, you were expecting that word...

since then, he hasn't been doing so well. over the last week or so, he has become increasingly lethargic. he spends a lot of play time now lying on the floor. he still has his bursts of energy, but those periods of lethargy are increasing every day. he's had a few blue spells, and off and on, his hands are very cold. he also seems to have lost a lot of his appetite, and is now refluxing more frequently.

i know it's time for his fontan, but still... the thought of watching him in this condition, with no power to change it, is discouraging. especially since, from a cardiac standpoint, he had been doing so well for so long. but the long string of infections, then the flu... i guess this was bound to happen. knowing that doesn't make it any easier, either. but this is the way things go with asher.

meanwhile, we're counting down to the cath. two weeks today. ugh. for some reason, my stomach knots up when i think about it. i know what they're gonna say, because they already said it all in february. i think that's the worst part. knowing. but so it goes. and as i discussed tonight with a couple friends, i have to remember to surrender this whole situation. it's not mine to control anyway, so why am i trying? a hard lesson to learn, especially when you're a mom. especially when you're a heart mom.

well, i should go now. it's the wee hours, and i'm tired. so i'll ttyl. :)


Mom said...

I know it's not easy to see Asher when he's like this but we do know that he's in the Lord's hands, and he has been since the day he was born (and even before that, to be precise). I'm praying that the Lord will continue to watch over and give Asher the strength that he needs as he approaches and goes through first the cath, then the Fontan. I'm also praying for strength for you.

Tanna said...

Already mama, its that time again. all those emotions and feelings. and I know Asher is "ASHER" and does things only he can, be remember Fontan is the easy one! and its the last scheduled one! get excited! you knew it was coming and as much fear as you are bound to feel, this is what you've been working towards....its exciting! Good luck in the cath lab! (did you know echo lab is moving to the cath lab recovery... thats what I heard... wierd!