Friday, February 21, 2014

french fries with mustard

we're sitting around the table, eating lunch.
Blithe and Bram are talking, chattering away the way they do about anything and everything.
Blithe is trying to decide what book she should read for her book report. Bram is in awe of the lego bird he built.

Asher is quiet. staring out the window.

i'm quiet. staring at Asher.

he's absentmindedly eating his fries.
picking up a couple, shoving them into his mouth, then wiping his mustardy fingers on his black pants.

i'm quiet. staring at Asher.

i'm sitting in the foyer at church, pinning the bag of formula to the bulletin board, with Asher in his car seat on the floor. the tape holding the tube in his nose is cut into a heart.
you know, because it's cute.
and it's a heart.
but it's even on both sides, and that seems strange.

the bag is hung up, and i'm priming the line.
i'm checking the placement of the tube.
it's in his stomach.

i'm hooking him up, and starting the feed.

ah, gravity.


Asher's running around
wearing his little backpack.

he's "eating."

and then one day, he walks into the living room.
hands me a pair of scissors.
"mommy take tube out. i not want tube anymore."
"you sure, buddy?"
"yes. i not need tube. mommy, you take it out, please."

so i cut it, and pull it out.

and he eats supper.

i'm quiet. staring at Asher.

he's quiet. staring out the window.
absentmindedly eating his fries.

and that knocks me out.


Wendy said...

Whohoo an update! Love to hear about your kiddos :) I'm thrilled that Asher is doing great! We think of you all often and I am glad all is well!
Big hellos to all your kiddos from us and big wet kisses from Charlie!

Heather said...

HAHA! i haven't updated because there's really been nothing to write about. LOL blissful normality! :) i've been busy with theatre (won an award last month for a show i did last summer - DREAM, a dark re-imagining of A Midsummer Night's Dream; wrote a script that will be on stage in May), and i'm a cosmetician now. still homeschooling... other than that, there's really nothing to report. LOL makes for a very boring, tedious blog. :P so weird that i was just thinking about you yesterday! <3 hugs from all of us, and a special one for Charlie! <3 <3 <3

Wendy said...

Ah normal and boring, how awesome is that??? Congratulations on your award and plays, very cool! And I can totally see you being a cosmetician - I bet you love it:-) We are good, still figuring out the whole expat life thing.
Charlie left all his allergies in Canada, he's no longer itchy and take no meds. His best dog friend lives next door - Julio. Julio sneaks through the fence and calls for Charlie to play... It's great :-) Kids are good, settled in and healthy. No complaints!
So glad all is good for you guys, you so deserve an uneventful, but happy life!!

Debi Lewis said...

I completely understand this. My daughter had a double aortic arch that, even after repair, pressed into and eventually nearly clamped her esophagus shut. She ate so reluctantly. She was misdiagnosed for years with other things until the real culprit was found and another surgery freed her esophagus -- and this fall, at age 9, she ate a sandwich. First sandwich ever. I cried. Only mamas who have been there get it!